I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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