Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I want her autograph on my taint
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
