I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
