Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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