she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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