I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
