i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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