I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
are you still alive?
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone