i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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