Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
