I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize