Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
where does the pee come out of this thing
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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