I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
