he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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