if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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