i need an iv and a liver transplant
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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