All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im holly from the hills drunk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
