do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
