You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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