I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How naked do you want me to be?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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