it was like eating out sand paper
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
