I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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