His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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