Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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