Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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