youre lurking in front of me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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