glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
