I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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