Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
