I need help removing her.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
