I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i would punch a child for taco bell
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
