I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
