Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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