Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
