After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
