I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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