i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
