First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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