is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
