Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
