I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
