But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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