Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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