I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
