She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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