i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
