so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
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Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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