I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She told me I should be a condom model.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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