No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
