I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
