8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
