hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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