Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
