I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
