i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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