I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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