So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
