This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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