and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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