the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
