awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
worst night to have a conscience
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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