How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
